So you’ve realized you’re struggling. Whether you realized it through struggles in your relationships, your inability to connect with others, or from continuous breakdowns at work (in whatever form they come in), I’d like to let you know that you’re not alone. While some people that have been through trauma are able to perform at a high level and on the outside may appear to have it together even though they don’t (high functioning people), others show more obvious signs and symptoms like losing things all the time, not being able to hold a job, etc. (low functioning people). Neither is better or worse, it just shows up differently for everyone.
For me, I was and sometimes can still show up as “low functioning.” I may forget to finish a sentence and I need to be intentional to make sure I didn’t leave the stove on. At one point it was even so bad that I was told I needed to move out of rental house for leaving the stove on. I used to be really jumpy, paranoid and easy to scare, but the good news is that identifying a problem is the first step to solving it, or at least doing something about it – and I turned to self-care which has turned out to be a great tool for healing.
Your self-care may require extra funds & working may be a feat for you – enroll friends, family, find grants, recovery housing, and others that may be willing help. If work performance is an issue for you, get odd jobs that can work with your ups and downs- driving with Uber, dog walking, sometimes babysitting, lawn mowing, taking care of a handicap or elderly friend. Some of the resources I now have, I wish I had known about when I first started healing from all of it. At the time it was all about surviving and not having that creativity or strength to figure out work. So I want to support you in any way I can on your journey.
If you are someone supporting a survivor through this healing process, please don’t back away from anything they may start telling you, because often, a close friend, family member, counselor or partner would be those people who’ll help put you on the right path. This may feel like way too much to handle or hear, you may feel overwhelmed but it’s all for the best. Listen. Breath. And ultimately expand the capacity of what you are capable of handling. Don’t resist or run. You will become a stronger, more loving, compassionate person in the process.
